How do I stay with myself?

12. Januar 2025

How do I stay with myself?

Thoughts of people:

“Sometimes, I wish I were further along. It’s like I go through phases. And then I realize how much I’ve already achieved—more than others. But then I compare myself again. I don’t really need to do that.”

Our human nature can be divided into three areas: mind, body, and soul/heart. These three aspects of our being are inseparably connected and require balance. If one of them falls out of harmony—often due to an excess of thoughts—we lose this equilibrium. Our lives are shaped by dualities: day and night, yin and yang, pain and joy, ignorance and growth, masculine and feminine, mind and soul/heart. The goal should be to balance these opposites within ourselves and remain grounded. This means listening to the heart more often and using the mind as a supportive tool. If we overemphasize one, the other suffers. And this shows in our mood—we become unbalanced.

Conversely, when we give too much from our heart, too many feelings outwardly, we often forget to set clear boundaries. We lose ourselves in others. On the other hand, excessive overthinking, comparing, or wishing to be somewhere or someone else leads us to disconnect from our heart, the present moment, and our ability to feel and perceive. The mind may imagine all sorts of things, but life happens here and now. When we let it dominate too much, we lose touch with ourselves—our body and our soul. Balance arises when we learn to use the mind as a servant and the heart as a compass.

Personal Experience

I’ve often compared myself to others, and impatience was a constant companion for a long time. These inner restlessness stemmed solely from my mind. I wanted to be further, better, more beautiful—like others. But all of it had a single source: I let my mind take the lead. This imbalance was anything but healthy. My body signaled this through illness and frequent negative moods, showing me that I was giving my mind too much power. Here, duality became evident: I listened to my thoughts instead of experiencing the moment and feeling what my body and heart truly needed.

Today, I know that balance is the key to a fulfilling life. Even when I fall out of balance at times, I find my way back because I know the direction. Comparisons and the desire to be better or further than others are a thing of the past. I live at my own pace and according to my own standards. Thoughts that don’t serve me have no place in my life anymore. My heart is now my master, and my mind its servant.

How do I stay with myself?

Approach

No one remains in balance permanently – it’s a natural part of life. To grow and discover new things, we must step out of our comfort zone, even if that means temporarily losing our equilibrium. However, as soon as we start comparing ourselves to others, we tend to either devalue ourselves and elevate others – or vice versa. This often happens to make ourselves feel better, but in the end, it diminishes self-worth – whether our own or that of others. At the same time, we may be overwhelmed by intense emotions or escape into dream worlds instead of actively shaping our lives. Ultimately, all these patterns do not lead to solutions but merely intensify mental spirals.

It’s important to realize that balance should be a fundamental part of your life – the goal. But everything in the present moment is exactly as it is – without judgment or criticism. Take the time to acknowledge what you have achieved so far and where you currently stand. What positive lessons can you take from this? Use your mind to create a life that aligns with your desires. But don’t let it dominate your life through comparisons and judgments. True growth and genuine development often emerge from life’s depths. These challenging phases give you the opportunity to see yourself more clearly and recognize what you are doing to yourself – and how you can emerge from them stronger.

Take a moment to reflect on these questions:

Do I make my decisions more with my mind or my heart?
How can I find a balance between the two?
Am I focusing on the solution, or am I dwelling on the problem?
Do I turn my gaze inward, toward myself, or outward, toward others?
If I’m lost in my mind: What is one step I could take now to reconnect with myself?
If my emotions dominate my life and I sacrifice myself: What could I do to set healthy boundaries and give myself more space and attention?

How do I stay with myself?