How do I deal with feelings of guilt?
How do I deal with feelings of guilt?
How do I deal with feelings of guilt?
Underlying thoughts of people:
“How can I best deal with blame (from people close to me)? Do I take on the guilt to create peace, even if I feel it is unfair inside – or do I “defend” myself and give reasons (justification) why it is not my fault?”
Blame is assigned because someone else does not want to take responsibility for his actions. His ego is so strong that he makes excuses and blames us for his mistakes. Only when we let these accusations dominate us and feel guilty do we ask ourselves these questions and will continue to receive accusations. We feel responsible for an act that we did not commit.
My experience
Other people continually blamed me for their own mistakes. The blaming of others, however, was their own issue. They didn’t want to admit their mistakes or take responsibility for them. But I soon realized that I didn’t have to feel guilty for mistakes that others made. I still had to take responsibility for something that was not determined by me, my thoughts and actions. The day I stopped feeling guilty, I stopped allowing myself to blame myself. As soon as people today make me responsible for their actions or statements, I do not let their assumptions determine my peace. I pass her statement back to them – I mirror it without making a statement.
Do the following
As soon as you feel guilty, you try to take responsibility for other people’s actions. You try to answer for other people’s mistakes instead of withdrawing your attention from them. But you don’t have to say that you are innocent and furthermore you do not need to take responsibility for the mistakes of those around you. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Once you realize this, you automatically maintain your inner peace. So, you don’t have to do anything except recognize that you feel guilty for an act you never committed.
Go within yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I let others‘ blame dictate my peace?
- What have I experienced that makes me want to take responsibility for everything and everyone – even if it’s not my responsibility?
- Who blamed me in my childhood? And who did I want to please?
- What do I have to lose by pleading innocent?
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