How do I control my thoughts?

How do I control my thoughts

Thoughts of others:

„Your videos always give me a lot of courage. But I just can’t get my thoughts under control. It’s scary.“

Controlling thoughts is a challenge that many people face. As humans, we have thoughts—that’s entirely normal. They come and go, appear and disappear. There are even moments when the mind becomes completely still. But this calmness only arises when we completely detach ourselves from the external world, when we let go of everything—people, events, and influences.

It’s in this state, without external points of reference, that the mind becomes entirely quiet. But we are human, and thoughts are a part of us. They are an intrinsic aspect of our being. Instead of fighting them, we can learn to work with them—not seeing them as obstacles but as tools. The attempt to fully control thoughts is an effort to deny a fundamental aspect of human nature.

Personal Experience

I used to think the mind had to be constantly quiet, as if it wasn’t allowed to speak up. I believed I needed to spend my days in silence, meditating, and leading a completely still life. But in doing so, I withdrew from life itself. I stopped doing the things that brought me joy or energy, distancing myself from my own humanity.

The belief that I shouldn’t have any thoughts led me to limit my life. But thoughts are part of being human—I have them, just like you. Over time, I’ve learned to deal with them consciously.

I know how to guide my thoughts, how to steer them, and how to ensure they don’t hold power over my life. Instead, I use my mind purposefully—only when it’s truly needed. Like now, as I write these words, or when shaping my life according to my goals. When I need peace, I retreat. These breaks help me organize my thoughts and gain inner clarity.

Approach

Thoughts arise because we live. They are the result of our ability to reflect on what’s happening around us—who we meet and the situations we experience. Every day brings new experiences. Thoughts are a natural part of being human. We’re here to experience life—to laugh, love, learn, and grow. Not just outwardly, but also in awareness.

Let your thoughts come and go without attaching too much meaning to them. Trying to control them can become a cycle that consumes even more of your attention. Using one thought to control another only leads to more thoughts, creating pressure or fear. Instead, let your thoughts simply exist and move on. Direct your attention consciously to the thoughts that matter—the positive, valuable ones that bring you joy.

Engage in activities that make you happy and get into action. Overthinking keeps you stuck and gives your mind control over your life. Instead, let your mind serve you. Use it to reflect, not to ruminate. Calm it through activities, breathing exercises, or movement practices like Yin Yoga—whatever helps you clear your head.

By focusing on what feels good, you’ll realize it’s not about controlling your thoughts. It’s about recognizing them, consciously guiding them, and withdrawing your attention from them when necessary. Thoughts are not obstacles but tools to help you create a fulfilling life. They are a privilege given to us as living beings. Use this privilege for your benefit. Let your heart lead the way—not your mind. And live!

Reflect with these questions:

• Why am I trying to control my thoughts?
• When I control them, what does that do to me?
• Where do I want to direct my attention from now on?
• What can I do to stop overthinking so much?

Also read the following blog posts:

• How do I find inner peace?
• Finding inner peace
• Self-reflection vs. constant rumination
• The present moment