How do I fit in?
How do I fit in?
How do I fit in?
Underlying thoughts of people:
“Do I have to act in a certain way, or hide parts of myself from others? How do I manage to reconcile what I know with people in everyday life? …( ) … I take part in the small talks about the weather etc., but they take a lot of energy … ( ) … is that the real thing? … ( ) … Or am I in the wrong environment? How you do that?“
When we act in the presence of others, we are often trying to fit in. But constantly trying to play a role can do more harm than good in the long run. It’s not about compulsively making small talk or having superficial conversations – it’s about remaining authentic and not bending yourself. Anyone who pretends becomes restless inside. Instead of staying true to ourselves, we lose touch with what we really feel and think. This discrepancy between what we show on the outside and what we feel on the inside causes us to feel out of place. Our minds will then be constantly searching for something it cannot find: the feeling of genuine connection with ourselves and others. The constant effort to be someone else thus causes internal stress.
My experience
For many years I also had the feeling that I had to adapt in order to belong. I compared myself to others, pretended, played different roles – but none of it brought me the peace I was looking for. On the contrary, it felt more and more unfulfilling. It wasn’t until I started being honest with myself that everything changed. I spoke openly what I really thought, without masks or compromises. I realized that my true freedom did not lie in adapting to others, but in the authenticity that I built with myself. The constant inner tension created by false facades disappeared. I began to live my own truth.
Today I only engage in conversations that are really important to me. I have a small but close circle of people who really mean something to me. I know a lot of people and constantly get to know new people. But I consciously decide who I give my energy to and who I don’t. So, I only open myself to those who have a genuine interest in my project and my vision. This freedom that I give myself is the greatest gift I could give myself.
Do the following
Realize one thing: as soon as you pretend to be in the company of others, you stop being yourself. You start to pretend to yourself and others – just to fit in or to meet other people’s expectations. But this adjustment costs you your inner peace. Real freedom comes from honesty – with yourself and with the people around you. When you open yourself up to conversations, seek ones that happen on a deeper level. Open yourself up to people who are ready to get involved with you on conscious, profound topics.
It’s important to distance yourself from those who don’t really belong in your life. You don’t have to form a deep connection with every person. Small talk is fine, but don’t get caught up in superficial conversations. When it’s time to go, go – without a guilty conscience. Ultimately, you are the one who decides who has a place in your life. And the lessons you learn from the people and situations will stay with you until you truly understand who you are and what you need. Only then can you free yourself from everything that doesn’t suit you.
Go within yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I want to fit in?
- Why do I compare myself to others and want to do the same?
- Why don’t I open myself up to people who want to talk to me about conscious topics?
Read the following blog posts:
- How do I deal with feelings of guilt?
- The search for ourselves
- Learn to say no
- Toxic people
- Silence for the sake of peace
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